Cyborg
Most of my earliest video store memories revolve around Jessie’s Video, the local donut shop/video store. The ownership and management of Jessie’s Video remain totally anonymous in my memory. I’m not totally sure why we went there so much before we discovered Bob’s Video. Maybe my parents just liked their donuts and grabbing a video while we were there was a bonus. But I do know this, what Jessie’s video lacked in quality, it made up for in an abundance of cheap sci-fi, horror, and action. Jessie’s Video was the kind of shop that helped companies like Cannon and Full Moon Features build a video empire. I watched a lot of crap from Jessie’s and it was probably a formative experience.
When I was 7 I saw Empire Strikes Back for the first time. It was my first Star Wars movie and a single viewing of the battle on Hoth was enough to turn me into a life-long fan of science fiction and fantasy. I remember going into Jessie’s Video and heading straight for the sci-fi section. I rented anything that looked like it had cool robots, aliens, spaceships, and action. Jessie’s Video is how I saw Ice Pirates, Robot Wars, and Time Runner. Most importantly, Jessie’s Video is where I rented my very first Jean Claude Van Damme movie, Cyborg.
Cyborg is trash maestro Albert Pyun’s martial arts-infused Terminator rip-off. In 1987 Cannon was already in financial trouble and they had built sets and designed costumes for a Spider-Man movie and a sequel to Masters of the Universe that would never be made. In an effort to recoup their losses the Cannon boys hired Albert Pyun to write and direct a movie that would utilize the sets, costumes, and props developed for those unmade movies.
At the tender age of 7, I had never seen anything like Cyborg. It was dark, violent, post-apocalyptic, and the story was utter nonsense. I vividly remember watching the scene where JCVD gets crucified on an old ship mast. I think I understood that it was some kind of Jesus thing, but I had no frame of reference for something like that. Growing up I would describe this scene to friends and they all thought I had dreamt it up. It wasn’t until years later when Cyborg became widely available on DVD that my insane memories were validated.
I remember watching Cyborg and feeling a little uneasy, I loved the action, but the violence was significantly more graphic than the Ninja Turtles movies and Saturday morning cartoons that I was used to. When the rain-soaked climax had concluded and the movie was over I was sure about one thing; Jean Claude Van Damme was awesome. JCVD’s high-flying kicks and splits were unlike anything I had ever seen. Seeing Cyborg is what motivated me to rent The Quest, Hard Target, Universal Soldier, and Time Cop.
That’s enough JCVD talk, for now… come back next week when I will be discussing another movie I discovered at a local video store…I promise it won’t be another Van Damme…maybe